Child rearing – the most important project for a parent
Children need to be loved and also respected
Lenin once said “ Give us the child for 8 years and it will be a Bolshevik forever”.
He meant, ” Bring me the child at birth and take him away after his 8th birthday. He will be a Russian forever”.
He very well knew that the first 8 years after the birth of a child are the most crucial part of a child’s life. Those are the prime formative years. The learning capacity of a child is so enormous that adults wouldn’t stand a chance against them as far as observing, grabbing, storing and processing of immense information are concerned. Unfortunately most people do not realise this important fact. Ignorance or not knowing something has nothing to do with intelligence. When a child does something out of curiosity, many people consider it to be a silly and a childish act. Just because the child does not know something, it does not mean that the child is stupid. It is the ability to learn, store and process information that determines the intelligence of a person and not what a person already knows. All children have a natural flair for discovering things and by the time they are three or four, adults pounce on them and start filling their tender minds with all that they believe to be true. The moment a child asks one of its parents a question, he or she is told to shut up. The child is even admonished for repeatedly asking ‘silly’ questions and bothering the adults! How insane could these adults be!
Every child is a proof of nature’s wonder. It’s ‘life’ started as a tiny zygote to be delivered and to grow up in this cruel and heartless world. Today’s baby could be tomorrow’s national president, astronaut, pilot, scientist, professor, surgeon, etc. Parents and teachers carry a huge responsibility on their shoulders as the future of not only the child, but also that of the nation and of the world, lies in their hands. There are many who advocate that a child should only ‘enjoy’ its childhood and have fun playing because they will have to undergo all the learning in the future anyway. Why should learning be thought to be a painful and a troublesome process for children? They have a natural ability to learn but this ability is corrupted by ‘established science and teaching procedures’. The child’s natural tendency to ask questions is destroyed. Parents and teachers should realise that soon one day, tables will certainly be turned and that they will be at the receiving end. Children need to be loved and also respected. That’s how and when children will realise their own importance in the society. Rebuking children for simple things will never be forgotten by them. Repeated assaults, punishments or scoldings by parents or teachers, can cause a child to develop animosty towards them forever.
Parenting is not at all an easy task. Even animals work hard to take special care of their little ones until they are old enough to be on their own. Parents and teachers need to actually openly express their love for children. A warm hug can do wonders and this gives the child a sense of security and that of being cared for. If children lie, it is only because their parents or teachers did not do their job well. When a child is taught the value and the power of truth by narrating to it stories of historical, mythological or even fictional characters, they will NEVER lie. Thanks to its natural imaginative skills, stories narrated in an interesting manner, can cause deep effects on a childs’ mind – forever. As little children are highly impressionable, selfish people of some violent religions, slaughter large animals right before the eyes of children! This is done in the name of religion! Such a macabre act completely removes any kind of softness, compassion or inhibition from the child’s mind and when it grows up or even during its teens, it sees absolutely nothing wrong in slaughtering a human being who in the eyes of the child, is in fact ‘smaller’ than the large animal!
I have come across some divorced men and even some who are living separately from their wives, having no affection at all for their own children who live with the mother. How on earth could any human being be so heartless? A child is a child who is no way responsible for the disagreements between the man and his wife. Such unlucky children are forced to grow up with hatred brewing in their minds. Little innocent babies hence grow up into evil and hateful adults.
People need to recollect their childhood memories, apply the same childlike sentiment and above all, empathise with children while dealing or communicating with them. The best way to communicate good and strong morals to children are through stories and not by giving them long and boring lectures. Playing with children , singing, dancing and laughing with them have excellent effects on the child’s psyche.
Just after a child is born, parents need to have an agenda of all the things that they would be teaching the child during the 8 years that follow. The planning has to be done very well and the steps need to be documented and followed. Bringing up a child is a major project. All of us know that it was one man who caused World War II and all that genocide and the destruction. This proves that one child can certainly make a difference to the world either in a positive way or in a negative way. If parents of little children of today would be serious about bringing their children up in the right way, the world in the next fifteen years would be a much better place to live in.
We need to help children develop inherent qualities of compassion, kindness, friendliness, decency, righteousness, dignity, etc. This can be achieved by protecting them from exposure to violence, violent movies, hatred, lies, cheating, arrogance, war, etc at least until the age of 8. Once the basic personality is formed, the child will never take up to crime or to any other uncivilised or anti-social act. The concept of Ahimsa or Non-Violence can be permanently ‘fixed’ in the mind of a child before the age of 8.
Just as any adult, children too love to feel important and wanted. Instead of letting them waste their time watching TV during weekends, it would be useful to involve them in the following interesting subjects:
Language and art:
When you learn a new language, you also learn the culture of the native speakers. Children develop the habit of appreciating and learning from diversity. Language instruction is a very important matter. A child is like a parrot and the way it learns a language is by simply repeating entire phrases or sentences uttered by others. Its mind has its own natural way of finding the grammatically correct way of speaking. The most important part of language instruction is pronunciation. There are language teachers who never learned the right way of pronouncing the sounds in a particular language and they start teaching it to children. The child learns the wrong way to pronounce words and continues its education. I am not talking about the accent, but it is about pronunciation. For example, in India the word ‘scold’ is pronounced the way the word ‘scald’ is to be pronounced. So if a child says in typical Indian style of pronunciation that his teacher ‘scolded’ him, it means that the teacher has ‘scalded’ him and for this cruel act, the teacher must be sent to jail! Wrong pronunciations lead to improper communication. Irresponsibility on the part of parents and teachers is the root cause for such degrading and deplorable language standards in India. It is not only the case with the English language, but also with other Indian languages. It is quite rare to find Indians who can speak their mother tongue for about five minutes, no matter which one it is, without adding English words!
Teaching children to speak a language correctly is a wonderful way to help them develop the sense of perfection. The child becomes obsessed with quality consciousness and that will be reflected on everything that the child will do later on life.
Art:
A child is basically very creative just as our ancestors were, but for whom we wouldn’t have had all the discoveries, inventions and the kind of technological advancements that we have today. Encouraging a child to develop its creativity, keeps the child occupied, gives it a sense of pride for having created something and of course develops the sense of aesthetics in it. A child that has tasted art, looks at nature as a very large piece of art and automatically learns to love and respect it. All kinds of art forms have amazing effects on the character of child and this shapes its mind into that of a fine, kind and a considerate human being.
Pregnant women who regularly listen to soothing classical music invariably give birth to children with a natural talent for music. Teaching music to young children has a very powerful effect on their general nature. They tend to be more affable and gentle. Music plays a very great role in shaping the character of children.
Mathematics:
When little children are taught mathematics the fun way, they fall in love with this amazing subject. This creates a strong sense of logic in them, develops quick thinking and memory. It is actually some people from older generations who don’t like Math, that ‘pass on’ to their children their dislike for it. I have come across many children who did not like math but on showing them the way they could have fun with math, they not only started to love math, but also turned into mathematical experts.
Sport:
Introducing children to regular sport makes them not only very healthy but also helps develop two major qualities in them – team spirit and the desire to win.
Internet:
Leading search engines have replaced large libraries and through these search engines, any kind of information can be acquired within seconds. Children need to be trained to use the Internet, of course under strict supervision. Discussing with them what they learned about history, geography, computers, automobiles, aircrafts, etc., encourages children to always remain hungry for knowledge. This strengthens the drive within them to stay abreast with the developments in ever-changing modern world.
Generation gaps are caused due to the fact that adults don’t ‘grow up’ the way children do.
Guru Tegh Bahadur Ji had to undergo a excessive torture and he was kept in an iron cage like an animal. He was starved of food. Right before the eyes of the Guru, Bhai Mati Das the devoted Sikh was tied between two pillars and he was sawn into two parts alive. Bhai Dyala was thrown alive into a cauldron of boiling water and was killed. 
Bhat Sati Das was wrapped in cotton wool and he was set on fire. The Guru took all these cruel acts without flinching and he showed neither signs of anger nor distress.
fixation (wiring of my mandible and maxilla) was done to immobilise my jaw, I was wheeled to the OT (operation theatre) for a facial plastic surgery that lasted five hours. My shoulder and knee fractures were then attended to and I was shifted to the post-operative ward. As I could not speak due to my wired-up jaw, I signalled to my dad and sister that the pain in my shoulder was unbearable and that I feared something more serious than just a fracture. The following morning I knew that I was right. The swelling around my right shoulder had spread up to my back. This was a case of negligence on the part of the doctors. One more day went and sepsis had set in and the pain was so severe that it was almost impossible for me to stay conscious.
Tavamithram Sarvada 